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Monday, May 24, 2010

Reflection

This may turn into mulitple posts of reflections but here is the start.  I have had a long day.  Oliver did not sleep long enough and was super cranky.  I did not have the energy or desire to do any of the chores I needed to do around the house.  Finances are seriously depressing me as I ponder going back to work but then I wonder how I'm going to pay for daycare.  I've pondered moving as well but I'm not sure we'd even be able to rent something as cheap as we bought our house...so in the meantime we make do.  It just makes focusing on anything positive difficult. 
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On top of it, tomorrow is weigh-in day again.  I was actually very good this week.  I only went over my points and had to use my weekly allowance once.  I got in over 2.5 hours of exercise, which is a good start to forming a habit.  Yet somehow I still feel like I'm going to go to my meeting tomorrow and have gained again.  How can this be, I wonder??

Part of it is probably my lack of medication in a few days.  I have completely forgotten to take it.  But despite that, I was still able to get some of the house picked up, laundry done, bed made, and fit in some exercise.  So its not like I sat around all day doing nothing.  It's not even 9pm yet, and Oliver is in bed asleep and the other two are playing quietly.  I could do some crafting but I already squeezed some of that in today too and I think I just feel like being lazy for the rest of the night.  I have to wonder though....how do people do it?  How is it that there are moms out there that really are like super moms that can seem to keep up on everything??  I'd love a few tips....My next chore is to tackle the master bathroom....it needs a good cleaning....as does my bedroom.  I always put those rooms off until last because no one but me and Charlie ever see them and I think they have been put off enough. 

I am trying to keep up my motivation to accomplish my goals.  It is definitely not easy.  Time seems to be slipping away while I make next to no progress.  Life seems to continually get in the way.  I know God hears these things in my head and is constantly throwing me signs that things will be ok, but I really need to get my head in the right place. 

There is a scripture that seems to be constantly popping up in my life here lately....
This is from the Contemporary English Version of the bible which I like because it translates the text into words I can understand......Philippians 4:6-7

6Don't worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. 7Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel.

And so I pray to God.....to please help heal my heart and to give me the strength and courage to make it through each day as I need to.  And as always, thank you for my family who mean the world to me.  I love them all dearly and am incredibly blessed.  Thank you.

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